कुरै नबुझ्ने साथी-सङी
र परिवार लाई
छोडेर जादै छु ।
बाँचनै नदिने यो स्वार्थी संसार लाई छोडेर जादै छु ।।
मुख मा राम-राम अनी बगलीमा छुरा हुदो रहेछ ।
आदर्श छाट्ने यि ढोंगी अनुहार लाई छोडेर जादै छु ।।
बाँचनै नदिने यो स्वार्थी संसार लाई छोडेर जादै छु ।।
मुख मा राम-राम अनी बगलीमा छुरा हुदो रहेछ ।
आदर्श छाट्ने यि ढोंगी अनुहार लाई छोडेर जादै छु ।।
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| Photo: Google |
This is starting lines of a suicide note of a character in
one of my story (unpublished yet). Today I am talking about suicide. Specially
about identifying the person planning to suicide, and what can we do for them? According to CDC (Center
for Disease Control), suicide is the 10th leading cause of death. 1 million
people attempts suicide every year worldwide and around 50,000 of them
succeed/die. Remember, suicidal attempts are more in nights than in day.
Suicidal attempts are about three times more in female than male. But
successful suicide (not just attempt) is more in male by five times compared to
females. Together we
can spread awareness. Stand up and do take action. Start now. Things will
slowly improve and finally will get fine.
Can we identify someone who is planning to cause his own
death?
Yes, most often. First of all, we have to understand that every suicidal person is a human like you and me. He/She has the same feeling of sadness and happiness like we do. Currently they have something to worry, something to express, but there is no one to listen to them, help them, and stand with them. They are not able to ask for help though they want it, they need it. He do want not to die. He wants the pain to be vanished. He wants the suffering to come to an end. Yes, most of the people who commit suicide don’t actually want to die. They just want to stop being hurt. They must be suffering from something unbearable. They do want to get rid of it but they can’t see any alternative. They are in disgust, are hopeless, are in isolation, are in deep pain and they can’t see any escape other than death. And they mislead themselves thinking ‘suicide’ to be a permanent solution of temporary problems. Thus they choose to kill themselves. What can we do then? How can we identify them? Understand that, a suicidal person needn’t be crazy. Someone in extreme distress and emotional pain can anytime plan suicide. A suicidal person needn’t have any mental problem. Any person planned to suicide can be stopped. People planning suicide mostly give some clue. If you are able to understand the clue and take few steps, you might save a life. They may comment for being hopeless, helpless or worthless. They show anger at self, may have increased irritability, moodiness and aggressiveness. Mostly suicidal person have sudden and unexpected switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy. If anyone uses sentences like “you will miss me”, "it would be better if I wasn't here" or “I have no way left” etc., we shouldn’t ignore such clues at all. Someone talking about suicide might not be just trying to seek attention. Take it seriously. A Facebook status indicating final ‘BYE’ doesn’t need your likes and comments. You need to meet them instead. Even if your interpretation were wrong, there is nothing to lose. So do stand up and take action.
Yes, most often. First of all, we have to understand that every suicidal person is a human like you and me. He/She has the same feeling of sadness and happiness like we do. Currently they have something to worry, something to express, but there is no one to listen to them, help them, and stand with them. They are not able to ask for help though they want it, they need it. He do want not to die. He wants the pain to be vanished. He wants the suffering to come to an end. Yes, most of the people who commit suicide don’t actually want to die. They just want to stop being hurt. They must be suffering from something unbearable. They do want to get rid of it but they can’t see any alternative. They are in disgust, are hopeless, are in isolation, are in deep pain and they can’t see any escape other than death. And they mislead themselves thinking ‘suicide’ to be a permanent solution of temporary problems. Thus they choose to kill themselves. What can we do then? How can we identify them? Understand that, a suicidal person needn’t be crazy. Someone in extreme distress and emotional pain can anytime plan suicide. A suicidal person needn’t have any mental problem. Any person planned to suicide can be stopped. People planning suicide mostly give some clue. If you are able to understand the clue and take few steps, you might save a life. They may comment for being hopeless, helpless or worthless. They show anger at self, may have increased irritability, moodiness and aggressiveness. Mostly suicidal person have sudden and unexpected switch from being very sad to being very calm or appearing to be happy. If anyone uses sentences like “you will miss me”, "it would be better if I wasn't here" or “I have no way left” etc., we shouldn’t ignore such clues at all. Someone talking about suicide might not be just trying to seek attention. Take it seriously. A Facebook status indicating final ‘BYE’ doesn’t need your likes and comments. You need to meet them instead. Even if your interpretation were wrong, there is nothing to lose. So do stand up and take action.
How would we know if someone is planning suicide?
There might be some clear reason for pain or sadness. Some failure in exam, unemployment, economic problem and loans to pay, recent breakups or divorce, bad family relationships, family violence etc. can be the cause of suicide. Remember recent suicide by Bollywood star Jiya Khan, who explained break up to be the reason of her suicide, in her six page long suicide note. Similarly, patients of psychiatric problem like depression or schizophrenia, victims of physical and sexual abuse, an alcoholic or drug abuser etc. attempt suicide more than others. Thus these are alarming factors. If someone has attempted suicide earlier, be careful, he can again attempt and may succeed to kill himself this time. Recent suicide by a family member is also a risk factor. Suicidal usually lose interest in day to day activities. Do try to pick up such clues. Many suicidal talk about killing or harming themselves. They may write about death, sometimes even in social networking sites or so. They may bid a good bye through facebook statuses or telephones. They might be collecting things like rope, suicidal drugs, poisons, guns etc. to use for suicide. Talk to them about their problems. Deep sadness, Loss of intrest (दिक्क लाग्ने), trouble sleeping, eating getting worse etc. for more than two weeks are common problems in suicidal. If you find any of such clues, you need to be alarmed.
There might be some clear reason for pain or sadness. Some failure in exam, unemployment, economic problem and loans to pay, recent breakups or divorce, bad family relationships, family violence etc. can be the cause of suicide. Remember recent suicide by Bollywood star Jiya Khan, who explained break up to be the reason of her suicide, in her six page long suicide note. Similarly, patients of psychiatric problem like depression or schizophrenia, victims of physical and sexual abuse, an alcoholic or drug abuser etc. attempt suicide more than others. Thus these are alarming factors. If someone has attempted suicide earlier, be careful, he can again attempt and may succeed to kill himself this time. Recent suicide by a family member is also a risk factor. Suicidal usually lose interest in day to day activities. Do try to pick up such clues. Many suicidal talk about killing or harming themselves. They may write about death, sometimes even in social networking sites or so. They may bid a good bye through facebook statuses or telephones. They might be collecting things like rope, suicidal drugs, poisons, guns etc. to use for suicide. Talk to them about their problems. Deep sadness, Loss of intrest (दिक्क लाग्ने), trouble sleeping, eating getting worse etc. for more than two weeks are common problems in suicidal. If you find any of such clues, you need to be alarmed.
American Association of Suicidology developed a mnemonic
"IS PATH WARM?" to help identify key warning signs for suicide-
- Ideation — Talking about or threatening to kill or hurt oneself; looking for ways to kill oneself, talking or writing about death, dying or suicide
- Substance abuse — Increased substance use
- Purposelessness (व्यर्थता)
- Anxiety — Anxiety, agitation, or changes in sleep pattern
- Trapped — Feeling like there is no way out
- Hopelessness
- Withdrawal — Withdrawing from friends, family, and society
- Anger
- Recklessness (लापरबाही/खतरा प्रती ध्यान नदिने)
- Mood changes
If you see any of above risk factors in any one, get
alarmed, they are most likely planning suicide. They need help. You need to
take action.
How to help?
Talk to them. If you have seen any of clues as mentioned earlier, you can directly talk about their suicidal thoughts or plans. “With all the depression you've been dealing with, have you ever had the thought that you'd be better off dead?” or any question like this could be asked. Show that you care. Don’t worry, there is no harmful outcome. You can't make a person suicidal by showing that you care.
You came to know about his intentions by phone or facebook? Go to meet him immediately. Talk to him. “I was being worried for you.”, “The way you bade me good bye today was not usual.”, “Your facebook status shows that you are in some trouble.” Etc. can be some sentences to start with.
If he comes up with any tendency like suicide, Ask “when did he begun to feel so?”, “what the real problem was?”, “how can he be helped?” etc. Do show support. Say- I am here for you. Once, I too was in similar situation. Things will be fine. Suicidal feelings are temporary etc. such sentences will help to build up his confidence. He would probably let his feelings come out in front of you and make himself calm. Giving a suicidal person the opportunity to express his or her feelings can provide relief from loneliness, and thus it may prevent a suicide attempt.
Listen to whatever he says calmly being non-judgmental. Let his feeling and sadness come out. And be careful- you should never argue with his thought. Don’t give a lecture on value of life. He doesn’t want to hear it now and it doesn’t help as well.
We should neither over act. He is in distress, he isn’t crazy. You shouldn’t say artificial things. Words are not that important. If you are concerned, your voice, manners and non-verbal communication will show it. Just be yourself. Ask when has he planned to suicide (time set). If time for suicidal is set, then it’s more severe problem. Inform people nearby to take care of him and do involve doctors/psychiatrists. They can help better. If you think, things are not enough to prevent the suicide than you can inform the police as well.
Talk to them. If you have seen any of clues as mentioned earlier, you can directly talk about their suicidal thoughts or plans. “With all the depression you've been dealing with, have you ever had the thought that you'd be better off dead?” or any question like this could be asked. Show that you care. Don’t worry, there is no harmful outcome. You can't make a person suicidal by showing that you care.
You came to know about his intentions by phone or facebook? Go to meet him immediately. Talk to him. “I was being worried for you.”, “The way you bade me good bye today was not usual.”, “Your facebook status shows that you are in some trouble.” Etc. can be some sentences to start with.
If he comes up with any tendency like suicide, Ask “when did he begun to feel so?”, “what the real problem was?”, “how can he be helped?” etc. Do show support. Say- I am here for you. Once, I too was in similar situation. Things will be fine. Suicidal feelings are temporary etc. such sentences will help to build up his confidence. He would probably let his feelings come out in front of you and make himself calm. Giving a suicidal person the opportunity to express his or her feelings can provide relief from loneliness, and thus it may prevent a suicide attempt.
Listen to whatever he says calmly being non-judgmental. Let his feeling and sadness come out. And be careful- you should never argue with his thought. Don’t give a lecture on value of life. He doesn’t want to hear it now and it doesn’t help as well.
We should neither over act. He is in distress, he isn’t crazy. You shouldn’t say artificial things. Words are not that important. If you are concerned, your voice, manners and non-verbal communication will show it. Just be yourself. Ask when has he planned to suicide (time set). If time for suicidal is set, then it’s more severe problem. Inform people nearby to take care of him and do involve doctors/psychiatrists. They can help better. If you think, things are not enough to prevent the suicide than you can inform the police as well.
Let’s unite against this cowardly act. Together we can
spread awareness. Let’s stand up for humanity. Let’s attempt to decrease
suicide attempts.
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