Who is a WITCH?

One fine morning, I received call from a hospital where I do my private practice. They asked me to come hospital to see an emergency patient there.

I reached emergency in few minutes. A gentleman was sitting in emergency tool. Our paramedic who had done primary management, told me that there was simple case of physical assault brought by police, and police were waiting outside to arrest him after we discharge him from hospital. He further suggested me to admit him in hospital which will save him from torture by police, and further it will be economically beneficial to hospital as well. (Let me remind that such request is not unusual in private health centers, further requesting for admition and expensive labs/meds and huge bill is also not unusual by patients of physical assault since the assaulter will pay for the bills.)

I took a quick history from patient, he said he was beaten badly and is having severe pain, and requested me to admit him in hospital to do necessary treatment and pain management. His examination findings were normal. His anxiety made me feel that I should admit him. I sent an Xray to rule out bone fracture.

I had to wait for sometime till report of X-Rays comes. In this leisure, I asked helper-boy of hospital about why police were waiting outside. He said, “Sir, the patient you are seeing is famous politician from major political party. His daughter is sick since few months due to a witch-craft (बोक्सीको जादूटुना). Thus they beat the witch and her family. The beaten family is under treatment in nearby hospital.” He further gave his view that witch should be treated exactly like this.

“If there was something called witch, no terrorist would use suicide-bomb. They would rather come to our villages to learn the witchcraft and kill or injure the people-leaders they want without any difficulty.” I said. I had grown little angry myself knowing that my patient has accused some one of being witch and has beaten her innocent family for no reason.

Photo of Kantipur Dialy
of news on same issue

Report of x-ray came in few minutes showing normal findings. I prescribed the needed medications and informed the police that they can take him away now.

Not only friends in hospital, but also few of my close well wishers were not happy for what I did later. They commented that helping political people is relation of give-and-take. It would be beneficial to me later. They further warned me that in current society, there isn’t good place for a person who only does what he thinks is right. Being ethical doesn’t pays, instead it harms.

I silently disagreed.

In the evening, there was news in “avenues tv “ about same incident, that the culprits are arrested. Next day, I read in national newspaper “Kantipur” and the “Nagarik” about same. All of them made me feel that, if had really helped him to escape from police, I won’t have been able to forgive myself.

At the end, it’s not about what my gain is, it’s only about what type of person I ought to be….

An interpretation

An interpretation 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXEYb7bCaQo

(Click on this link of YouTube to listen the song i am talking about.) 

Above song in YouTube, It was not just next song.

That night, I was going through kind of hard time in life. Life of none is easy, neither is mine. Music happens to be my best friend of difficult times. That night too, I was listening to songs in YouTube. This came just as a next song and touched me somewhere inside.

I felt as if lyrics were talking to me. For me it was talk between mother and son (though you may not agree me on this). I am writing my translation (with little edits) in English, and also my own interpretation of the song/poem.

Paragraph 1                                                                                                   My Translation

Ek bagal mein chand hoga, ek bagal mein rotiyan                       Moon on a side and food on other,
Ek bagal mein neend hogi, ek bagal mein loriyan                        Sleep on a side and lullaby on other,
Hum chand pe, Roti ki chadar daal kar so jayenge                      I will sleep on moon with mattress of food,
Aur neend se, Keh denge lori kal sunane aayenge                      And tell the sleep, lullaby tomorrow.

First paragraph is son’s word. He is showing options. Firstly moon Vs food, means ambition (moon) Vs current need (food). Secondly Sleep Vs lullaby, means comfort of future (sleep) Vs Hard work i.e. Means to attain it (Lullaby). 

The son selects his options too, but negatively. He wants to sleep on moon with mattress of food. Meaning that forgetting the ambition, he wants to enjoy current need. He want to tell the sleep that lullaby tomorrow, means tell the comfort of future that hard-work tomorrow.
He sounds frustrated.

Paragraph 2                                                                                                   My Translation

Ek bagal mein khan-khanati seepiyan ho jayengi,                      Ruby on a side,
Ek bagal mein kuchh rulati sisikiyan ho jayengi,                          tears on other side,
Hum seepiyon mein, bhar ke saare taare chun ke aayenge,      A lot of rubies we will gather,
Aur siskiyon ko, Gudgudi kar kar ke yun behlayenge,                 and tickle the pain, to laugh out the tear

Second paragraph is mothers reply. She is teaching her child, giving him hope. 

She too is showing options. Ruby Vs Tears, means prosperity (Ruby) Vs Current pain during hard work (Tears). She too is selecting options, but positively. She wants to attain prosperity. Obviously hard-work comes between current tears and future prosperity. She is teaching to enjoy during the times of tears.

“Aur siskiyo ko gudgudi kar-karke yun behlaayege”, She is outstandingly telling to tickle the tear to make it laugh, meaning try to enjoy even at the time of tears. Don’t worry for current problem, suppress the tear and think about the bright future.

Paragraph 3                                                                                                   My Translation

Amma teri siskiyon pe koi rone aayega                                      Mom, someone will come to cry with our tear
Gam na kar jo aayega woh phir kabhi na jayega                        Don’t worry, who comes won’t leave us ever
Yaad rakh par koi anhoni nahi tu layegi                                      Make sure, you avoid any decision of disaster,
Layegi to phir kahani aur kuchh ho jayegi                                   Otherwise, that can again be the  game changer

The first word of this verse “mom” made me think most that this all poem is talk between mother and son.

Here, the son is gaining strength. He too is showing bright future. He hopes, good days will come and never goes away. But he is afraid too: something bad may happen, good days may come never. He wishes his mom to avoid any bad decisions and makes sure it won’t happen, good times do comes. Otherwise, things may stay as it is, he warns.

Paragraph 4 (Last)                                                                                            My Translation

Honi aur anhoni ki parwah kise hai meri jaan                              Either good happens or bad, who is worried?
Hadd se jyaada yeh hi hoga ki yahin mar jayenge                      Even the worst happening, that we are killed,
Hum maut ko, Sapna bata kar uth khade honge yahin               We will move on even if  worst outcome is paved
Aur honi ko, Thenga dikha kar khil-khilte jayenge                       Will laugh out louder and tease the mis-happenings made

Mom summarizes with further strength. She suggests not to worry what happens, even if it’s worst possible outcome. Even if the worst thing happens, we can ignore it and move on. We will be laughing out and tease the worst outcome as well. We will make sure that we are not worried at all even with worst thing that made to happen with us.

The last line, “Honi ko thenga dikhakar khilkhilate jayenge”: “we will move on laughing, teasing the mis-happenings to us” is the sentence with most strong meaning. I don’t think any better closing was possible.

I feel, this poem by Piyush Chawla is an outstanding piece of creation.

They say, poetry is like water, you can make it take the shape of your container or flow as per your wish. It’s ok to tell that I interpreted like this because I wanted to. Actually this is what poetry is.

The ‘Precedent medal of freedom’ winner, Pablo Casals, wrote that, “The art of interpretation is not to play what is written.” So this is my interpretation. You are free to disagree or focus differently.

Thank you

After these six long years, I will never be same again.

They say, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it, is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” Thus, First of all, I want to start this talk with thanks to our academy:  PAHS. Yes, I need to thank PAHS for making all of us what we are, specially the clinical faculties. This is the beginning of long-long journey of all of us as a physician, but we do are something compared to what we were six years back. An intermediate graduate, a nobody.

A medical collage with ethics

The noble peace prize winner, Elie Wiesel said, “There may be times when we are powerless to prevent injustice, but there must never be a time when we fail to protest the injustice.”

The best thing about our academy is: they talk, train and frequently re-enforce for compassion, empathy and ethics. We are untoldly trained to be advocate of suffering society. I heard from friends of other medical school about: how they are tortured for money by collage, how collage fails the students in exams to take the higher charges of re exam, how they were threatened to not to talk/write in the favor when respected professor Govinda KC was in hunger-strike for the long-term betterment of medical education. In government collage, you can speak your heart, and take the support of what you think is right, and they motivate you to go towards right path. And this is always rewarding experience.

Few teachers I won’t forget

A rule at our academy I find weird is, non-permanent faculties are made to leave the institution after two years. I heard from friends of other academies/institutes that contract of non-permanent staffs are renewed every year for as long as they want. The departure of extremely knowledgeable and experienced teachers like Prof. Madhusudan Subedi sir, Prof. Dr. Ram Krishna Dulal Sir, Dr Arbin Joshi Sir hurt me lot. Their departure (against their will) was a huge loss for the university. Especially Madhu sir was like my idol. A good teacher like him, himself can never tell how he touches and affects the eternity of student, and where his influence stops.

The incidents not only made me sad, but also I am thinking more seriously about job security in future. Because being extremely knowledgeable and experienced as well is not enough.

Friendship isn’t same for me now

These six years gave me some best friends for life. Truly speaking this ‘some’ means fewer than what I had expected. What they taught, “Be polite and be nice to everybody, be helpful and befriend to all colleagues.” is not practical in this brutal world. It’s harsh, but it’s true. You, from periphery, way distant from Kathmandu, reach to a government medical school. Yes, this was pleasing achievement then. But they taught me really fast that, you can’t be friendly with everybody. Some will have narrow reservation against you because of your origin, caste, skin color etc. And that’s true. There will be others who will value their interest, gain or respect more than friendship, or will use relationship for personal gain. There are other cool dudes, who may spoil you. From that background of scarcity and poverty, being a bright student, you haven’t come here to be a spoilt brat. You need to be selective while being friend. An alcoholic or drug abuser friend is forcing you to join his party, it’s better to shout harder and lose the friendship.

They teach to make friends, learn to break friendships too.

Every relationship should be held by that special bond: Love. Spread love, never hurt and don’t let them hurt you too. They say “Forget injuries, never forget kindness.” But life is hard sometimes. People, who once stood strong in your favor, proved that they are your best friend in the entire world, may change with time. And you have no option left. Even the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let us down, probably will. Life comes with no guarantee. Taking relationships to an end is the decision we always take late, and repent. Sooner is better, later will make you suffer more. Either it is relationship, or a common kitchen or a study group or shared books or whatever. I recommend breaking the walls and getting separated. This is one of the hard things I learnt in this six long years. If they didn’t want you to go, they will let you know and warmly welcome you back. If they were really waiting for you to separate by yourself, they will let you know and fondly good bye you. Yes, mistakes can be corrected, not making mistakes will not teach you anything at all. I remember a period, I lingered for separation. Later I not only repented, but remorsed. Then after, I was not same again.

The introductory block study

This was initial 6 month of our study and most enjoying part of the course. This easy part was designed with the idea of bringing students of science background and paramedic background at same level. The physics, chemistry, biology and mathematics curriculum was what we had already learnt better during +2. The scientific communication, Introduction to clinical medicine, statistics was not that tough. Six months became interesting time pass.

But I was highly unsatisfied with some parts of examination. Students failing were compelled to stay at home for approx 1 year and give re-examination next year with junior batch. Their one year was lost. In subsequent batches, students failing same exam were allowed to pursue study. In further batch, student failing in practical exam and passing theory were asked to appear re-exam, but re-exam of theory he passed, not the practical he failed. This was probably because he was only who failed in practical and designing re-practical-exam for single student was tough task. Again in further junior batch, students failing were made to loss a year. I am sure they had lot of discussion to take such a tough decision. But it was childish to change the rule every year. Personally I feel that, important things we were taught then like Medical informatics, Statistics, ICM, Community Health etc should be incorporated in Basic science curriculum of next 2 years. And introductory block should be removed from curriculum leaving away physics, chemistry and biology thing.

The six months at district hospital

One of the bold decisions taken and implemented by our academy is, the six months posting at District hospital in 4^th year. That was a nice time. Professionally, it prepared us for carrier as physician. We were allowed to manage patients and do almost everything that a doctor does. It built a lot of confidence for up-coming carrier. In addition, we didn’t have much work load or much to study. We could manage vacations and trips. That too was a nice time, especially for students like us, who hardly get a leave or vacation.

In the end

Today, when I am writing these lines, is last day of my internship and also last day of our 6 year long MBBS course. I feel sad going from here: specially working with and learning from extremely knowledgeable faculties who teach and don’t harass unlike traditional medical school. Being member of a hospital where poor and needy people too get at least emergency treatment irrespective of their ability to pay. These all will be missed and fondly remembered. In other hand, I am in kind of hurry to leave some suffocating people around. Don’t ask me this in detail, and off course there good people to be missed too. I am not sure; I should grumble that roses have thorns or should be grateful that thorns have roses. But it wont again be easy to say, "Either you pay or not, you have are going to picnic with us." or "If you are not coming, then party is cancelled for me too." Anyways, I am way happy that I will be back to home leaving all this. Back with parents and grandparents: who love more and judge less, correct you more and blame you less. Probably this is why they say, night is darkest just before dawn. I will be sent for mandatory service of 2 years as payback of my scholarship, most-probably to one of the PHC or hospital near my home. Thanks to the scarcity of doctors there. At the end of all these, the one thing I know best is: “I will never be same again.”

Thank you